break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
