Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Randomize