Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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