all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
