i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
