I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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