What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
