Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
