Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
