Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm too high and old for this...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
