The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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