he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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