Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Shame - the story of my life.
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