don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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