i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
