Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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