She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
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I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
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I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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