Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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