OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I didn't shave. On purpose
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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