The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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