Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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