Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
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I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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