I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
