I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
