u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
