shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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