last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
