Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
