So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
