I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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