he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
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