where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
that may or may not have been my penis.
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