You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
