Soap is not a condiment
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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