I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
As shirtless as possible
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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