It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
