I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize