Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just had sex bonerless
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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