yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
