I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
