You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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