im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
