glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.