She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
