She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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