so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
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I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
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dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome