I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
