I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
