You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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