Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.

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  (303): Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper. http://tfl.nu/rq4b
  Replies (68) Good night (8887) Bad night (710)
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  (315): View more from New York

  He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.

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  (315): He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out. http://tfl.nu/k9ox
  Replies (18) Good night (5107) Bad night (513)
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  (310): View more from California

  the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.

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  (310): the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him. http://tfl.nu/jidd
  Replies (27) Good night (7014) Bad night (1571)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.

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  (602): either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing. http://tfl.nu/e07a
  Replies (21) Good night (6475) Bad night (568)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man

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  (215): and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man http://tfl.nu/boh9
  Replies (11) Good night (4023) Bad night (1484)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore

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  (203): it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore http://tfl.nu/bfwd
  Replies (32) Good night (3373) Bad night (851)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?

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  (330): Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket? http://tfl.nu/lptb
  Replies (48) Good night (1654) Bad night (7255)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.

  (818): View more from California

  Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?

  (817): View more from Texas

  Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation

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  (817): Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant. (818): Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring? (817): Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation http://tfl.nu/wbmb
  Replies (8) Good night (722) Bad night (3755)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.

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  (513): Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch. http://tfl.nu/dpne
  Replies (24) Good night (14564) Bad night (1574)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups

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  (412): All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups http://tfl.nu/m0gn
  Replies (2) Good night (2683) Bad night (863)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw

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  (717): looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw http://tfl.nu/7d00
  Replies (5) Good night (3477) Bad night (838)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.

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  (732): I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink. http://tfl.nu/afd8
  Replies (4) Good night (2669) Bad night (813)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.

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  (503): I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life. http://tfl.nu/c2dk
  Replies (14) Good night (501) Bad night (2179)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.

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  (570): I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in. http://tfl.nu/wp3g
  Replies (6) Good night (1229) Bad night (442)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea

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  (920): He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea http://tfl.nu/pad4
  Replies (2) Good night (288) Bad night (584)

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