Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Go study a dick amy that's outrageous

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  (586): Go study a dick amy that's outrageous http://tfl.nu/yka3
  Replies (4) Good night (1057) Bad night (537)
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  (516): View more from New York

  why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?

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  (516): why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo? http://tfl.nu/oqag
  Replies (16) Good night (2796) Bad night (711)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.

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  (401): remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice? (401): we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession. http://tfl.nu/61ek
  Replies (41) Good night (812) Bad night (2664)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  you definitely have a few illegitimate kids

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine

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  (407): you definitely have a few illegitimate kids (1-407): probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine http://tfl.nu/6feu
  Replies (32) Good night (3565) Bad night (1595)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.

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  (229): It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing. http://tfl.nu/o6in
  Replies (47) Good night (784) Bad night (5430)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter

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  (330): I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter http://tfl.nu/ep47
  Replies (7) Good night (3243) Bad night (1067)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.

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  (954): You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself. http://tfl.nu/qx75
  Replies (6) Good night (948) Bad night (3113)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  ....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP

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  (850): ....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP http://tfl.nu/qpvz
  Replies (1) Good night (1076) Bad night (1054)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"

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  (817): I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months" http://tfl.nu/023g
  Replies (5) Good night (2226) Bad night (891)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.

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  (647): Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face. http://tfl.nu/boco
  Replies (10) Good night (2084) Bad night (823)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Why do you need me to cover for work?

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.

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  (715): Why do you need me to cover for work? (608): I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen. http://tfl.nu/izqg
  Replies (8) Good night (1105) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine

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  (317): Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine http://tfl.nu/233e
  Replies (3) Good night (676) Bad night (355)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party

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  (617): She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party http://tfl.nu/crsc
  Replies (5) Good night (1778) Bad night (385)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.

  (858): View more from California

  I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.

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  (224): I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman. (858): I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect. http://tfl.nu/7efm
  Replies (3) Good night (742) Bad night (349)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives 

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  (614): His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives  http://tfl.nu/o3zv
  Replies (5) Good night (238) Bad night (831)

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