i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
