Yo dont text me then not text me
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick