I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
