It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
