Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
