I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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