Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
