Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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