Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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