he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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