I just pynch a tree in the face
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
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Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
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Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
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