last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Randomize
