he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
