If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
