Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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