can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
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