I have demons in me.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
