Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
