he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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