so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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