No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
