"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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