Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
