found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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