Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
