Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize