took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just had sex on a roof
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
